Monday, February 2, 2009

Your Career in Cartooning

Today I thought I would write about Cartooning, which I arguably know more about than anything else. Arguably, I say, because instead of cartooning, my wife would say "farting" or "saying the wrong thing at the wrong time." But she has her own blog dedicated to those subjects, so I'm gonna stick with Cartooning.

Cartooning is the art of exaggeration. This is in many ways very similar to Politics, which may be why the earliest members of our field were political cartoonists. Let's face it, the most fun part of cartooning is drawing someone in a less-than-favorable light. With the invention of the printing press, artists realized they could mass-produce those drawings, and that nobody could possibly tear up every single copy. Voila! Cartooning was born.

Cartooning is the art of exaggeration in more ways than one. You'd be hard-pressed to find a cartoonist who doesn't stretch the truth a little when it comes to where he or she has been published, what awards they've won, how much they made from selling cartoons last year, or how many times they've had a beer with Richard Thompson. About the only thing a cartoonist won't exaggerate is how attractive he or she is. We understand that some things are just beyond help.

I'm not saying that all cartoonists are ugly. Only most of us. No doubt physical disgustingness is a major factor in one deciding to become a cartoonist. How many professions allow one to live life as an antisocial monk? Well, besides that of being a monk. Which, I should add, does not lend itself well to cartooning. Drawing funny pictures of His Holiness is not smiled upon. Perhaps the Pope himself could have been a cartoonist at one point, but he made his choice long ago. So we'll leave it at that.

Curiously, I have already touched upon two taboo subjects without really getting into cartooning much at all. This leads me to believe I may not know as much about this grand art as I thought. Perhaps I've become one of those arrogant, self-appointed "experts" who likes to say he knows more than he really does. Yet, this does not preclude one from becoming a cartoonist any more than being relatively attractive does. And let's face it, my wife is much too hot to have married a complete goober-faced, liver-lipped, bug-eyed snot face. And now that I think about it, we're actually inviting some people over to the house for dinner in a few days.

Perhaps it is time for a career change.

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